Surviving Infidelity and Restoring Your Marriage
Infidelity in a marriage is a catastrophic event affecting the entire family unit. Cornerstone Marriage Ministries has helped couples struggling with the fallout and pain of something similar to what you are going through. We can understand this must be a tumultuous time. Most likely the most vulnerable time in both of your lives. A time when you are desperately looking for the hand of a helping confidant you can trust. For over twenty five years, Cornerstone has been counseling hundreds of couples avoiding or dealing with this catastrophic marriage event. Fortunately in those cases where infidelity has occurred, we have found there are several critical concepts and practices that will make surviving infidelity and restoring your marriage not only possible, but probable.
Having worked with many couples over the years we have learned countless, invaluable lessons about what works and what doesn’t. We have come to realize there is never just one way, but rather countless ways to deal with emotional pain. And yes, there are ways to restore a marriage after an affair. Even if the marriage is thought to be at the point of no return, there is hope and help.
For the Spouse Committing the Infidelity
As caring, Christian marriage counselors, we seek to provide compassionate help to couples with whatever struggles they are dealing with, including infidelity or adultery. It is important to understand adultery can occur in marriages for a wide range of reasons. These reasons include lack of communication, sexual temptation, boredom, jealousy, loneliness and general unhappiness. By engaging with another person outside your marriage, whether it be physical or emotional, you are putting your family at risk of severe emotional, mental and physical anguish.
Engaging in adultery is not only harmful to your marriage, it is forbidden by God as a sin against Him and one’s spouse (Hebrews 13:4). It is self-destructive (Proverbs 6:32). And if there are children, they are at risk of a devastating future. But the good news is surviving infidelity and restoring a marriage is possible, with God’s help. In fact, not only can your marriage survive an affair, your marriage can become even stronger than it was before the crisis. “Nothing is impossible with God,” (Luke 1:37).
For the Spouse Suffering the Betrayal
If your spouse has had an affair, either physical or emotional, you may fist find yourself experiencing a sense of denial. You may then experience feelings of betrayal, anger, frustration, and despair. At some point you may also experience various stages of grief, despair, helplessness, fear, anxiety and hopelessness. Remember, prolonged depression and stress can often lead to physical illness.
You may feel the infidelity is your fault and blame yourself. This is rarely ever the case and it is important that you not jump to such unproven conclusions. Sometimes a spouse who has committed adultery will say it happened because you were not meeting their needs. As a result, he or she looked to someone else. But regardless what a cheating spouse says the reason is, it is they who made the decision to engage in the affair. Regardless of what your spouse attributes the affair to, it is very possible he or she will come to understand and take responsibility for what happened and why.
Perhaps you recently discovered your spouse is or has been having an affair. Maybe you’ve suspected it for quite some time. You may have been looking through some of your spouse’s belongings and found information revealing the affair. If your spouse and you are both willing to be open and honest about your feelings and actions, and willing to seek professional Professional Christian help, then we begin working with you to restore your marriage.
The Path to Restoring Your Marriage
We have been successfully helping couples like you since 2003. While it is possible to restore a marriage and relationship after an affair, the restoration process requires time, willingness and a lot of work. Serious consideration must be given to these factors:
- Is the spouse who committed adultery willing to completely and immediately end the adulterous relationship?
- Are you both willing to participate in a Christian marriage restoration program to help you communicate, work through underlying issues and repair damaged emotions?
- Is the cheating partner willing to accept full responsibility for those actions?
- Are both of you willing to put in the intensive effort needed to repair the hurt and move forward?
It is God’s will for you to remain committed exclusively to each other for life. When sin separates you from that commitment, remember no sin is ever bigger than God’s grace. Confess and ask His forgiveness by faith ( 1 John 1:9). Participate in a Christian Marriage Counseling Intensive program specifically addressing the issues related to infidelity. The program will guide and engage you in dialogue to help each of you heal from your emotions. And most importantly, the program will also show you the pathway to surviving infidelity and restoring your marriage.
For additional information or assistance please feel free to contact one of our Professional Counselors or Coaches at (281) 304-1500 and request your FREE 30-minute consultation.
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