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Restoring a Marriage after an Affair

Adultery and Your Marriage   

It’s happened – it was the last thing either of you could ever have imagined that could happen to you.  During more than twenty-five years of helping hundreds of couples avoid this catastrophic marriage event.  I havefound that there are several criticalconceptsv have made it possible in surviving this catastrophic marriage event.helpedcouples struggling with the fallout and pain of something similar to what you are going through. I can yet  understand that this must be a tulmultous time  – the most vulnerable time in both your lives,  a time when you are desperately looking for the hand of a helping confidant you can trust.  Having worked with a myriad of couples over the years I have learned countless, invalaluable lessons about what works and what doesn’t. From hundreds of clients I have come to realize that there is never just one way, but rather countless ways to deal with emotional pain, some of which work and othes which when their marriage gets damaged by an affair.  ,, they regard that as a point of no return.

Advice for the Spouse her Who Had the Affair 

As caring, Christian marriage counselors, we seek to provide compassionate help to couples with whatever struggles they are dealing with, including adultery, which seems mto be rampant today.  It is important to understand that adultery can occur in marriages for a wide range of reasons including sexual temptation, boredom, jealousy, loneliness and general unhappiness.

By engaging with another person outside your marriage, whether it be sexual activity,  or engaging emotionally by sharing affection with another, you are putting your spouse, yourself and your children at risk of severe emotional, mental and physical anguish that can destroy your marriage and family.

Engaging in adultery is not only harmful to your marriage, but it is forbidden by God as a sin against Him and one’s spouse (Hebrews 13:4).  It is self-destructive (Proverbs 6:32). And if there are children, they are at risk of a devastating future. But, the good news is that restoring a marriage after an affair is possible, with God’s help. In fact, not only can your marriage survive an affair, but your marriage can become even stronger than it was before the crisis.  “Nothing is impossible with God,” (Luke 1:37).

Advice for the Spouse Who Was Betrayed

Your spouse has had an affair, whether a physical affair or an emotional affair, you may find yourself experiencing a sense of denial at first, followed by feelings of betrayal, anger, frustration, and despair.  It’s likely you’ll at some point also experience feelings of shock, grief, despair, helplessness, fear, anxiety and hopelessness.  Depression and stress can often may even lead to physical illness.

You may feel that it’s your fault and blame yourself. This is rarely ever the case and it is important that you not jump to such unfounded conclusions.  Sometimes  a spouse who has committed adultery will say that it happened because you were not meeting their needs and so he or she looked to someone else. But regardless what a “cheating” spouse says the reason was, it is they who made the decision to engage in the affair. may Regardless of what your spouse attribute the affair to, it is very possible that he or she will come to understand and take responsibility for what happened and why.  If your  spouse and you are both willing to be open and honest about your feelings and actions, and are willing to seek professional Professional Christian help, then healing then we can work with you to restoratotr your marriage , just as we have since 2003

Perhaps you just recently discovered that your sopuse is or has been having an affair. Maybe you’ve suspected it for quite some time. You may have been looking through some of your spouse’s belongings, launry or computer or cell phone and found some informatiuon  reeling in shock and broke your heart. .

Restoring the Marriage

It is possible to restore a relationship after an affair, but it requires time, willingness, a lot work.  Serious consideration must be given to these factors:

  • Is the spouse who committed adultery willing to completely and immediately end the adulterous relationship?
  • Are you both willing to participate in a Christian marriage restoration program that can help you communicate, work through underlying issues and repair damaged emotions?
  • Is the partner who cheated willing to accept full responsibility for those actions?
  • Are both of you willing to put in the intensive effort needed to repair the hurt and move forward?

It is God’s will for you to remain committed exclusively to each other for life.  When sin separates you from that commitment, remember, no sin is ever bigger than God’s grace, if you will confess and ask His forgiveness by faith, ( 1 John 1:9).  Participating in a Christian, marriage intensive program that specifically addresses the issues related to infidelity can help guide and engage you in a dialogue that will help each of you to heal from the hurt, anger, guilt and pain, and show you the pathway to a restored.  For additional informational or assistance please feel free to contact one of our Professionals, Counselors or Coaches:  (832) 3495244 and talk to one of our  Counselor’s or Coaches and request your 30-minute FREE consultation .

 

 

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