Fighting for Your Marriage
Conflicts are inevitable in every marriage. If you’ve been married for more than a day, you’ve probably seen that oftentimes even a seemingly small conflict between you and your spouse can turn into a big battle. I submit to you that the biggest battles in your marriage are not battles just between the two of you. But rather the biggest battles you fight in your marriage are the battles when the two are fighting for your marriage. These are perilous battles because of the spiritual aspect of them. They are spiritual battles against an enemy who is out to destroy your marriage and your family.
This means that for you to come out as winners in your conflicts, it is imperative that you keep in the forefront of your mind that your mate is not your enemy. When conflicts arise between you, in these battles you must unite and fight for your marriage together. The battles we fight are not strictly of a human nature. “For our struggle is not against human opponents, but against… cosmic powers in the darkness around us, and evil spiritual forces in the heavenly realm,” (Ephesians 6:12).
The battle we’re talking about is the spiritual battle that you became a part of when you got married. Although this may not be a conflict with each other, it does affect the two of you and threatens to destroy your relationship with each other. Unfortunately there is no way you can possibly avoid the battle. There’s no bunker or foxhole you can crawl into that will shield you from the attacks of this cosmic battle for your marriage. It is an ongoing battle between the forces of God and the enemy’s schemes of evil which seek to destroy your marriage.
But the good news is that you can overcome the enemy’s spiritual attacks on your marriage. The degree to which you will be successful in winning these battles is the degree to which you are prepared to understand the schemes of the enemy and fight for your marriage on a spiritual level.
Perhaps even at this moment you are reeling from the discovery of an infidelity, contemplating a divorce, just staying together for the children, or dealing with some other attack against your marriage. Whatever the struggle you may be going through, my heart goes out to you. From having helped others who are going I can understand the emotional roller coaster and pain you must be feeling in the difficult marital struggles But I you can count on it- you can get through this battle because most assuredly God has the strength and power to rescue and restore.
Perhaps we would all be a little more prepared to deal with the troubles in our marriages if we hadn’t been raised on fairy-tale movies and love stories. Nevertheless, the pain you are experiencing because of the troubles in your marriage is real, whether you are experiencing disappointment and grief because of the failure of your spouse to remain true, because of repeated conflicts, a spouse’s addiction, financial struggles – whatever the cause of the problem, be assured that God understands and He has a solution for you.
We at Cornerstone Marriage & Family Ministries are here to help you fight for your marriage and win. We believe God can empower you and your spouse to overcome your problems, heal the past and restore your marriage. This is what we will be praying for the two of you if you’ll email us or enter your names here at our website. We’ve helped hundreds of couples dealing with a crisis in their marriages and we know God can empower you and your spouse with His love and with the desire to do His will. While you wait on the God’s deliverance, here are some things to keep in mind:
• God still loves you! No matter how bleak things may look, God’s words is still
true for you. “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things
present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:3839).
• God is at work in your situation according to His word. This present struggle does not change the reality that “all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28).
• As you draw closer to God, He will comfort and sustain you. Read His Word. Stay close to your Christian friends and church. Pray and worship. As you do, you will feel God’s presence know that He is with you. “What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold His own Son, but gave Him up for all of us, will He not with him also give us
everything else?” (Romans 8:31-32).
If you have been hurt by your spouse, pray and ask God to help you begin the work of forgiveness. If you have wounded your spouse through careless actions, seek forgiveness from your spouse and from God.
You may want to seek the support of your pastor or a trained Christian counselor. It is not a sign of weakness to seek the help of an expert – in fact it may be detrimental to you and your marriage not to reach out for it. Even if your spouse refuses marriage counseling, you may find it very helpful to consult with your pastor or Christian counselor without your spouse.
If you are considering divorce, definitely seek the help of a trained Christian counselor. Keep in mind that the only Biblical grounds for divorce are adultery or in the event that a non-Christian spouse will not stay with a Christian. And of course, you cannot stay with or expose your children to a physically abusive spouse. But God’s greatest desire is for you and your spouse to allow Him to help restore your marriage and live together in a vibrant Christian, healthy marriage.
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