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Do White Lies Have Anything to Do With My Marriage?

It’s Just a Little White Lie

little white lies suspicionBy being honest in all areas of your life, you can create a better marriage for you and your spouse. Honesty creates trust and trust is a cornerstone of a happy, healthy marriage. Research shows we lie to our partner an average of 3 times per week.  Generally, the white lie is something harmless to make the other person feel good or to keep the peace.

Chances are if you are telling little white lies in one area of your life, you are also telling lies in other areas too. Some of the kinds of “fudge” you may be concocting is probably in gray areas where you are thinking within yourself it’s okay. You’re not telling an outright lie, but just fudging the truth a little.

In most troubled marriages dishonesty has become a major issue even though most couples don’t recognize it at first. Sometimes dishonesty can begin with good intentions. Here is an example.  One night, you get home a little late. Rather than tell your spouse you spent time visiting with some friends at the office, you say you had to work late. You feel concerned your spouse might think those people were more important to you than being on time for dinner.  So you conceal the truth and lie to your spouse.  If your spouse finds out the truth, suspicion may arise.

How the White Lie Progresses

Once you lie and avoid what you were afraid might become an argument, you were “rewarded” for lying, and  then you are likely to do it again, and again, and the next one may likely be a little bigger….and on and on  it goes.

Those little white lies told in a marriage can have a snow-ball effect. If you are not careful, the little white lie you told to your spouse to keep the two of you from getting in a confrontation or argument, could lead you into justifying within yourself  telling a bigger lie that causes your partner to feel greatly betrayed. Trust is the foundation of a strong, healthy marriage, and honesty is the cornerstones of trust.  Once broken, trust is a hard thing to get back in a relationship. Honesty is the best policy, especially in marriage. Strive to always tell the truth, even at the cost of an argument or confrontation.

Ask Yourself A Couple of Questions

What little white lies do you tell to your spouse?

How often do you lie to your spouse?

Do they help you?

Do you think they hurt your marriage?

Is it Worth It ?

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