5 Tips to Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut
by Roy Milam
Do you sometimes feel like you and your spouse have drifted into that same-ole, humdrum routine where your day-to-day lifestyle starts making you feel disconnected and stuck in a rut? Are there more awkward silences in your conversations? Or are you starting to get bored with your marriage relationship? When things get that way, and you’re looking for ways to re-charge your connection, you can’t help but wonder if there’s any advice that rises above the customary clichés and triviality you’ve heard so many times before.
One can’t help but wonder is there any practical advice that can actually help a couple jump-start their relationship and get their marriage out of this kind of a rut. King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, knew the value of having an enjoyable marriage relationship. In Ecclesiastes he advised, “Enjoy life with your wife….” It may sound simplistic, but similarly, that advice still stands for couples today. Maybe we need to make time and find ways to enjoy our partnership with each other again.
Hopefully these 5 tips can help you begin to enjoy each other more by discovering ways to add interest, excitement and fun back into your relationship:
1. Get physical: Whether it is going on a bike ride, walking or going on a day trip to a nearby town or city, getting physically active is a great way to change the routine and dynamics in your marriage relationship. Another way would to get physical would be to light the candles and turn on some romantic music and … you know? That thing that newlywed couples do? Do that. (But really, I mean exercise on this one!) Hike a new trail together. Go bicycle riding together. Go jogging or work out together. Getting exercise reduces your level of stress, improves your mood and alters serotonin levels.
2. Get Playful: It’s been aptly said, “couples who play together stay together.” Participating in, various kinds of fun and playful activities with your spouse is a great way to keep you engaged, connected and interested in each other and your relationship. Maintaining your youthful spirit and childlike nature can keep things light in your relationship.
Fun activities might include: having occasional game nights when you play table games together; being humorous with one another,. These activities allow you some diversion, have fun with each other and in the process grow doing activities you would each like to try. Then create a list of places you would like to go (i.e. sporting activities to play, cities to visit, day-trips to take, museums to tour, etc.). Check out a music concert, a car show, a county fair, a play, or a dance festival. Then randomly select an event or place each week and go do something new and fun that loser together, rather than becoming bored and feeling disconnected from the one you love.
3. Get Brainy: Take a class together and learn something new together, whether it’s dancing lessons, a cooking lesson or going to a self-development workshop. Being mentally engaged with your spouse can add variety to your topics of conversation and it perhaps add some mental vitality and interaction and interest to your marriage relationship.
4. Get Risky: Use your imagination and brainstorm together various activities that stretches you. Outdoors. Go camping or hiking. Try spelunking, which is exploring caves. Learn how to canoe. If you live near the beach, try surfing, snorkeling or scuba diving. Or go extreme. Try a more extreme activity like rafting, skydiving or rock climbing. Play a game of paintball or laser tag. Buy or rent a couple of ATVs and go off-roading.
5. Get-together: Often times, when there are children involved couples can become hyper-scheduled, stressed and impatient with each other. Even couples who don’t have children, can at times find themselves bored and dis-interested in their marriage relationship. Often couples can curtail these challenges by establishing a weekly date night to add some imaginative variety to the relationship. Hire a babysitter or ask friends and family to help with the kids. Go for a weekend night out and get back to your courting days. Finding a variety of different restaurants to dine at, to re-connect and rekindle that spark you once enjoyed in your marriage.
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