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Articles

Keeping Your Covenant
By Roy M. Milam

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

               

Do you remember those words you spoke on your wedding day?  All couples start out saying the right things.  But words alone are not what makes a marriage last a lifetime. 

 

Contemporary marriages often fail because people don't enter it with a "til death do us part" mindset. They may say the words in a ceremony, and mean them. But when problems arise, they adopt a "til difficulties do us part" mentality.

 

Whenever divorce becomes an option, the future of the relationship is at stake. Unless that problem is dealt with, the marriage is well on its way to becoming another statistic in our culture of divorce.

 

The root of the problem lies in a faulty  viewpoint toward marriage. Marriage is viewed by many as a relationship of convenience based upon an attitude of "what's in it for me."  Others approach it as an experiment, "Try it! If it doesn't work, you can always bail out later!"

 

But marriage, as God intended it, is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman and their God, for a lifetime.  Understanding and living within this covenant is the key to a fulfilling and lasting marriage.

 

In the Old Testament, God made a num- ber of covenants with His people. The act of making a covenant was no empty

ritual, but a solemn and sacred event. 

 

Making a covenant required a sacrifice, and the sacrifice was dealt with in a special way. The animal that was sacrificed was cut into two parts, and the two parts were placed opposite one another, with a space in between. Then the people who were making the covenant passed between the two parts of the sacrifice. By this act they entered into a covenant relationship.

 

Why was a sacrifice necessary to enter into a covenant?  The sacrifice symbolized the death of each party to the covenant (Hebrews 9:16-17). As each party walked between the pieces of the slain animal, he was saying in effect, "That animal died as my representative. That is my death. As I enter into this covenant, I enter by death.  In covenant, I have no more right to live for myself."

 

So it is in the covenant of marriage. Each party is virtually saying to the other: "I will die for you. From now on, your interests take precedence over my own.  I no longer live for myself; I live for you."  Each lays down his life for the other. The covenant that secures a marriage is sacrificial and permanent.

 

Jesus Christ is the supreme example of what it means to live in a covenant relationship. Laying aside the privileges of deity, He came to earth and paid the ultimate sacrifice by dying on the cross to pay for our sins. Likewise he calls us to a covenant that requires us as husbands and wives to give up our selfish desires and die to "self."  Each laying down his life for the other.

 

The satisfaction of our own needs and desires can't be the primary reason we get married or stay married. Instead each spouse's actions need to have an "other" focus.  Building a loving and fulfilling marriage requires a lifelong sacrifice.  œœœ
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"And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:27). God did a wonderful thing when He created man and woman so differently. The differences between man as male and woman as female were intended to usher in many special blessings (Genesis 1:28). Unfortunately, because of the fall, the blessings of the sexes became the battle between the sexes. The unique qualities with which God endowed each, now give rise to misunderstanding and conflict rather than completion and harmony.
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